Tag / survivor

by Yumnah Jones

Ruvimbo Kadyevu

Ruvimbo Kadyevu, founder of EthelartConnect

Ruvimbo Kadyevu is a recipient of the Tony Elumelu Entrepreneurship Award. She is an innovator, entrepreneur and motivational speaker with a passion for the Arts. She strives to serve by developing and empowering aspiring African artists. Her personal story is a reminder of how much we tend to take for granted and teaches us to appreciate the fragility of Life. We may be here today and gone tomorrow but what we choose to do with our time determines our legacy. 

This is Ruvimbo’s story … 

“I was born prematurely, at eight months, with a lung condition called chronic bronchiectasis in the Murewa District of Zimbabwe. As a result of this condition, I suffer from permanent damage to my aveolis and bronchiles, causing symptoms like breathing difficulties, fatigue, a large production of phlegm and chronic coughing. 

It was particularly taxing to grow up with bronchiectasis especially considering that I was always misdiagnosed, which meant that I did not have the correct support system to treat it, and was also single-handedly raised by my mother. 

My mother was a head school teacher and the nature of her work entailed being despatched to work at rural schools in the Murewa District and other parts of Zimbabwe. This left her with no choice but to ask relatives to look after me in her absence. Although they agreed to take me in, I would sometimes end up staying for short periods of time because some of them did not know how to deal with my condition and because of it, I was moved to another relative.

Throughout the years, I suffered from infections and episodes and would be hospitalized all the time but it was only in 2019 that I was correctly diagnosed with bronchiectasis. I was told it was a miracle I survived and still a miracle that I am alive. 

While growing up and being hospitalized frequently, I went less and less to school and would constantly move from one house to another much like a foster kid. My illness made everything worse but luckily I was a bright student, so even if I spent one week per month at school, I still managed to catch up with my schoolwork. It was a hard fight for me to pass; no one ever thought I would make it to university or amount to anything. 

Living with a chronic lung condition is very hard and a continuous struggle. For the average healthy person, it may take 3-4 days to recover from flu but for me, it could be fatal. In an incident of getting the flu, I can be hospitalized from one to three months and be in constant pain trying to recover and have to learn to walk again. 

I battled with low self-esteem and became socially distant and had to depend on the natural Instinctive tactics of survival, to make it to the next level. I worked hard and became focused on achieving my goal to finish and graduate secondary school. I could not attend boarding school due to my health issues and was instead moved to relatives to attend better schools in the city. I passed my ordinary level (O-Level) and advanced level (A-Level) and could move on to university level but my mother could not afford my university tuition since my younger brother was starting secondary school and hence, I had to take a gap year 

During my gap year, I had to look for a job and in that time someone attempted to rape me which brought on added trauma. I returned home and received counselling while staying focused on getting to university. I applied to study psychology because of my passion to help people but I also had another passion; I wanted to pursue a degree in the Arts with the hopes of establishing a career.  Besides, passion, I was also talented but my mother instead encouraged me to focus on a more stable career choice since as I am academically gifted as well. 

I then opted to study psychology but juxtaposed it with researching the Arts industry in Zimbabwe and Africa. It was during my research that I realized there are so many artistically young and talented people out there that were sitting on their talents because of a lack of support and mentorship programmes. Due to this, and my galvanizing passion for the Arts, I established a company called EthelartConnect which promotes upcoming artists and African Visual Art on global spaces.

I established EthelartConnect, at the age of 22, during my second year of studies at the University of Zimbabwe, and had to hustle after university classes selling chargers in the streets to make my vision become a reality. Fortunately, I had a friend who was tech-savvy and believed in my vision. He helped me with setting up my website and tending to the technicalities of domain hosting and management. Although we were both amateurs in this new process, we would stay awake at night researching, reaching out to people to support us and establishing a marketing brand for the new company. We received so many rejections but still forged ahead to the current platform we have established and of course, we are still growing as an organization.

In 2018, shortly after the establishment of EthelartConnect, my lungs collapsed while I was in my final year of university. I was resuscitated after a hectic struggle but the doctors, through God’s Mercy, managed to revive me. Through this incident, I lost and later recovered my event memory. I also lost my job as a research executive for a consultancy firm due to my long period of hospitalization. Fortunately though, I managed to graduate from university with a BSc Hons in Psychology. 

In February 2020, I started developing hypoxia as my bodily cells and tissues were lacking oxygen to the point that I was again hospitalized for a 2 month period and were on life support. All this occurred before the COVID-19 pandemic hit Africa and even prior to this pandemic, I had to wear a mask to protect myself from contracting the flu. Due to rising hospital bills, I had to be discharged even though I needed oxygen support. I took a leap of faith and went home, hoping God would heal me. It was a very depressing period because it was such a struggle to breathe and I could not afford an oxygen tank, which is very costly. I thought I was losing everything. People do not realize the gift of oxygen and fail to appreciate the God-given ability to inhale oxygen. In my case, I needed to buy an oxygen tank, simply to breathe but through God’s Grace, I managed to recover, without an oxygen tank, and I hope I will never have to experience hypoxia again.

Since I was so focused on my recovery, it adversely affected my business and my artists who were dependent on me to lead the way. Although my health is a major challenge, we are working towards our goal and I have a wonderful team of young and talented individuals that assists with the administrative and managerial side of EthelartConnect.

EthelartConnect is an art talent management and marketing organization with the objective to provide clients globally with quality artistic services and promoting talents to be career-oriented. We serve artists by identifying and recognizing talent, grooming it into professional careers and brand talent into international standard markets. We then market the talent through the selling of artworks and by finding clients. We also represent artists as their front runners for partnerships and collaborations and create events, exhibitions and projects to showcase their talents. 

As an organization, we also conduct visual art awareness campaigns and embrace visual artists’ work through our media segments and feature the artists behind the artworks and their inspirational stories of becoming. Through the establishment of EthelartConnect, we have assisted more than 50 artists and during our years of operation, we have coached them into realizing their skills and have given them exposure both nationally and internationally. We have created not only a brand but also a safe space for artists to achieve more. We recently expanded and registered our business in South Africa, while working with amazing artists from Botswana and have reached other major players in Africa and Europe with the hope to promote more contemporary African Art.

I am a firm believer that our background, struggles and circumstances does not define who we are but what we do as individuals does. While Arts is my passion, my personal struggles with bronchiectasis has led me, in partnership with my friend, Anesa Murawu, also a lung condition sufferer, to establish a non-governmental organization called Breathe Hope Foundation which provides moral support for people living with and battling lung conditions and the foundation aims to create awareness among communities and the health sector for individuals such as myself. While lung conditions may not be outwardly defined as a disability, it certainly robs us of opportunities since we are always sick or prone to sickness. It is for this reason that I am fighting for people, such as myself, that struggles daily. I am a survivor; not a victim and I live one day at a time and each day I try my best to bring happiness to someone with what I have. While others may find me to be inspiring, I believe I am here today because of God’s Grace and everything I am today and everything I have managed to  achieve has been because of Him; The One whose Hand, I lean on, to guide me through every battle … “

If you are interested in learning more about Ruvimbo or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her Facebook page, EthelartConnect Enterprise, or email her at ethelartconnect@gmail.com

by Yumnah Jones

Ramatu Karim Sesay

Ramatu Karim Sesay, founder of Ramatu’s Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone

At the age of 25 years, Ramatu has made great strides in spite of the obstacles thrown her way. She has a tremendous will and her story will inspire every little girl who has to fight a culture meant to break her. Her tenacity is outstanding and for her to still be standing today as a single woman, with no children and never having been married in addition to all she has accomplished pays true testament to her feisty spirit.   

This is Ramatu’s story…

My upbringing was tragic and forced me to mature quickly. I had to learn to start doing things for myself, for my siblings and for people in order to survive. At a very tender age, I was sent to live with one of my paternal family members in Port Loko, Sierra Leone to be looked after since my mother was asked to leave the paternal family compound, due to my parents’ divorce. Since she had no means to support her children, she made no objections, at that time. Under the care of my paternal aunt, I suffered tremendously and had to learn to fend for myself and my siblings. I slept on floors, was physically abused and starved, from time to time. I tried raising money for food, by braiding other peoples’ hair, but it was stolen by my aunt. Sometimes, she would also send me to the markets on a hungry stomach to sell items, after school, and when I took 1 000 or 2 000 leones to placate my hunger, she would beat me when I returned home from the markets. On weekends, I was sent to the bush to collect firewood for cooking and the abuse continued with me sometimes eating by neighbours. I endured the mistreatment over the years until she tried forcing me, at the age of 17 years, into an arranged marriage with a 62 year old carpenter. I refused to be forced into this marriage and as a result, was starved.

The final straw came in 2014, aged 19, when my aunt asked me to travel to Banthoron Village in the Port Loko District, where I was stripped naked and received cane lashings by some of the elder brothers of my father because of my refusal to this arrangement and because my aunt tarnished my name by the family who believed her wicked tales of me, including her accusations that I was not intelligent or focused on my studies. While their judgements and beatings pained me, they could not sway me to fall for their tricks because I was able to identify who I truly am and what I wanted to become.

Since I continued being defiant, and spoke up against her and exposed her during the family confrontation, my aunt refused me entry into her home but luckily for me, she was not paying for my education. I was receiving an education through a charitable organization called EducAid Sierra Leone, which caters for the less privileged in Port Loko. However, since she refused to take me back in, I could not return to my aunt’s home and was forced to stay in Banthoron Village, where I was able to read and prepare for my screening exams at another EducAid Sierra Leone branch.

During this period, I developed a deep concern for standing up against perpetrators and became passionate about gender equality and women empowerment. I wanted to improve the lives of all females living in marginalized communities and started engaging with the Banthoron village girls. I encouraged the girls to challenge cultural views that go against their rights to an education and a better life. During one of these educational sessions, I managed to borrow a phone to call one of my female school friends and a male staff member at the school I attended in Port Loko, to explain my family situation. The male staff member promised to get in touch with the Country Director of the EducAid Sierra Leone to assist me in getting out of Banthoron Village. He delivered on his promise and shortly thereafter the Country Director, my female friend and the male staff member (along with another) drove all the way from Port Loko Town to fetch me in Banthoron Village and I started a new life in Maronka Village. While I was sad to leave behind the village girls, I was ecstatic about the positive change in my story.

I was housed by EducAid in one of their buildings that served as a quarantine center during the Ebola Outbreak in 2014 and was appointed as the quarantine home mother, for a short period, to look after children, both girls and boys that were orphaned by the Ebola pandemic. I was later transferred to EducAid Rolal Senior Secondary School Port Loko to continue my schooling. Throughout this period and serving as a group leader to younger children, I managed to graduate high school although it pained me that none of my family members attended my graduation since they disowned me. After completion of high school, I continued serving EducAid and was asked to assist with their EducAid Mgbeni branch. Throughout, I was empowering, encouraging and teaching classes to children under my supervision and was asked to get involved in a Women’s Project teaching girls and women, phonics, mathematics and language arts. It was during this period, months later, that my father made contact with me, to apologize for not standing up for me because of his fear of his family and the repercussions of the elders who do not take kindly to defiance and he encouraged me to focus on my education and was proud of me for what I have accomplished thus far.

In 2016, I was transferred to a new EducAid school in Makeni to continue the Women’s Project and where I continued in my position as a home mother, gender equality representative and head of the safety committee. I also took it upon myself to engage girls in Makeni about female genital mutilation, which is a highly regarded cultural practice. I was of course met with a lot of backlash but the issues were resolved through EducAid Sierra Leone, as part of their organizational work.

I was very happy during my period at EducAid Sierra Leone as I was gaining experience and earning a stipend per month, to survive, since I had no one to support me but towards the end of my tenure, I was a victim of sexual harassment by one of the senior male teachers who wanted to have sex with me in exchange for bread, eggs and other foods but since I refused his advances, he avenged my rejections through falsified reports on my so called misdemeanours and since, there were no open platform to discuss cases of sexual harassment, noting that he was in a position of trust, I was made redundant and my tenure at EducAid Sierra Leone came to an end. It was distressful for me since I was saving most of my monthly stipends to enrol in university and now felt like I was back to square one.

In spite of this, I told myself not to give up and enquired the cost of pursuing a Bachelor of Education degree at the Ernest Bai Koroma University and to my delight my savings covered the first year tuition. To make ends meet, I sold many different snacks on campus and surrounding primary schools because I believed in the power of an education and with the help of good Samaritans, along the way, who assisted me with my struggles, I am now a 4th and final year student, who intend graduating in 2021 with B.Ed., majoring in Community Development with a minor in Agriculture.

As a young and single woman, I have faced a lot of sexual harassment and had to deal with men trying to prey on me, considering my vulnerable situation, but I have honestly been strong and dealt with every obstacle thrown my way in the most dignified way possible and I am extremely grateful for the help of truly good Samaritans who believe in me, my potential and my vision for my future and whose only heartfelt aim is to see me succeed.

My passion, dreams and aspiration for education, women’s rights, development, women empowerment and improving the livelihood of women and girls living in marginalized communities became stronger in my thoughts and heart after being faced with all the hardships. I realized all of those painful experiences have given me more strength of mind, boldness, lessons and the empowerment needed to be vibrant and fearless in the advocacy of young girls and women.

After my fruitful tenure at EducAid Sierra Leone where I gained valuable experience as a volunteer, I transformed my skills and knowledge into rallying a small group of girls in Makeni and started creating awareness on the rights of girls and women and on harmful cultural practices. My efforts have expanded through training and motivating them and as a result, my organization, Ramatu’s Foundation for Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone was established on 26 October 2019. The Ramatu’s Foundation for Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone is a fully functional foundation registered with the Ministry of Social Welfare, Gender and Children’s Affairs in Makeni with an office space containing 7 rooms, newly recruited staff members and board of directors and office equipment which we will expand as more funds become available.

I am deeply aspired in ensuring all females are educated on their rights and responsibilities and in ensuring that all issues affecting women and girls in Sierra Leone are eradicated with my own leadership and to include men in joining me to win the fight against arranged marriages/child marriages, rape, female genital mutilation and gender-based violence. I want to serve as a global feminist and to continue to tell my story and to help in the development of women and girls living in marginalized communities. All I want to see is a Sierra Leone or a world wherein women and girls are not treated based on selfish cultures, are not deprived of their rights and responsibilities, are given the platform for progress and equality and are given leadership positions and inclusiveness.

If you are interested in learning more about Ramatu or would like to get in contact with her, please follow her on her Facebook page, Ramatu’s Foundation for Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone or email her at sramatukarim@gmail.com 

by Yumnah Jones

Nisha Singh

Nisha Singh, founder of Niche Wellness

A former preschool owner, currently working in the corporate sector and the founder of Niche Wellness, Nisha Singh is a mentor to many individuals going through personal challenges. Through her personal experience and having obtained her education, she is using her platform to teach human rights and provide mindset empowerment coaching to others, with a long-term vision of becoming a principal of her own school.

This is Nisha’s story …

My journey of stepping into my power started in January 1986 when I married my husband, at the tender age of 18 years. I came into a family with so much dreams of being loved as a wife, a daughter in law and an addition to the new family I found myself in.  Going in to the new family, I took much of Bollywood fantasies in my head but marriage made me realize the harsh reality of married life and being married to a man that would not shield me from the harshness of petty fights within his parents’ home; the home we lived in since he was not earning enough money for us to even rent our own home.

I endured years of pain while we lived with his parents. His mother gave me the same harsh treatment she received from her parent in laws. My husband did not defend me when his mum or family found fault with me for petty issues and began hitting me within three months of our marriage. I could not tell anyone as I would be seen as not being a woman of good standing; why else would a husband hit his wife? Something had to be wrong with me and I was always made to feel less than. I too, had dreams to work and educate myself, and to get my own house which I wanted to make into a home for our future children.

Twenty seven years of abuse when I did not submit to all the lies and taunts and spoke up. I was beaten physically to an extent that I had bruises on my face and my body, but in all of this, I became more resilient to find my own space and path.

Three years into the marriage, after my first child was born, I left my husband and went back to my mother’s house in Durban, South Africa, with an opportunity to make my dream a reality but he felt the distance of his wife and child being away from him. He requested that I return to him in Johannesburg, South Africa and that he would get us our own house. We bought a dilapidated house, worked to renovate it ourselves and made it livable, but the abuse continued …

Whenever he went to his mum’s house, he came back angry and would hit me as he was told some story of me having a boyfriend etc., even while knowing that I was barred from his mum’s house.

Thirteen years later, after staying in our first house, we moved to another suburb, away from his parents, but the abuse continued. By this time though, I was working and strived with night and weekend study classes to educate myself and better my earning power.

One day, in my current home, my eldest son had to grab his father off of me and threw him a few metres away, in the passage, and warned his father that if he ever hit me again, he would hurt his father.

For all the years that I was being abused, I made cases at the police station but never let justice run its course as the family would plead me to drop the charges since he would get a criminal record. So each time I forgave him and withdrew the case.

After nearly twenty seven years of marriage, and all the abuse, I finally found the courage to apply for a divorce. When I applied for a divorce, he tried manipulating me and making me feel less than him because I did not earn as much money as him. It took me nine months to finalize my divorce. I even had to fire my lawyer and took my own divorce case to court in 2012 and it was successful.   

While the court settlement included joint custody, my sons opted to stay with their father and I felt very worthless as a woman but preserved to love my children even more, to let them see me for who I am. I admit that I ill-treated my eldest son to some extent as he was behaving in the same abusive manner as his father but I went for counselling and realized that I needed to help him undo the programming he received from watching his father abuse me.

After the divorce, I continued studying and obtained my Level 6 Early Childhood Development teaching diploma, my paralegal qualification and my life coaching neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner certification, all with my own finances. I am an independent warrior woman, going on vacations and buying my own assets, whenever the need arises and I now use my real life wisdom to mentor and guide persons stepping into their own power, which took me so long to find. While my marriage ended, not all marriages have to end in divorce or separation; the persons in the marriage need to be guided to work together, focus on fulfilling each other’s needs and respect each other.

Through my experience and years of mentoring, I find that a lot of people are overwhelmed by the circumstances they find themselves in and I want people to know that lessons are presented in all of our challenges and that we must strive to be the change we want in this World. I have also learnt that hurt people hurt others but healed people heal others. My mission and prayer is to help people to step into their own power and to create a life they want as I did for myself, in spite of my circumstances.  

If you are interested in learning more about Nisha or require her life coaching services, please follow her on her Facebook pages, Niche Wellness and Finding Your Niche or email her at  Nichewellness9@gmail.com