Tag / herstory

by Yumnah Jones

Rahma Abdulmannan

Rahma Abdulmannan, co-founder of Creating Happiness and Assistance Foundation (CHAF)

Rahma Abdulmannan, the co-founder of Creating Happiness and Assistance Foundation (CHAF), and a nurse by profession, is driven by her passion for making a difference in the lives of those less fortunate than her. As a humanitarian and a lifelong volunteer, her area of interest has always been focused on the empowerment of the girl-child and on orphans. Her story shows us that the privileges we may take for granted are not necessarily the reality of those around us and that oftentimes, it takes one person to make the difference in the trajectory of the lives of others and that we should never underestimate the power of the impact that we each hold within our hands.

This is Rahma’s story …

Being born in rural Kano State, Nigeria, a society in which cultural perceptions often dictate the lived reality of girls and women around me, stands in stark contrast to the home environment in which I was nurtured. As a little girl, the third child of five siblings born to a Yemeni mother and a Nigerian father, I have had the privilege of being raised by open-minded parents who were driven by an ethos of religion and not cultural beliefs steeped in ignorance.

Growing up, I always thought that the egalitarian values of my home environment extended to those around me, to relatives, close associates and family friends. I always felt that the treatment of girls and women as second-class citizens was the further reality, the reality of others, confined only to certain spaces within our society even though I was an active part of it as I was volunteering throughout secondary school at various organizations and orphanages. However, the veil of naivety fell from my eyes, when years later, I was preparing to attend university and my father sought out counsel, with his kinsmen, if he should send me to join my elder sister, to study in Cairo, at The British University of Egypt. I was of the former belief that our fellow kinsmen, males I regarded as second fathers, would be supportive of his intentions but alas! Instead, my father was met with disdain, mockery and patriarchal mindsets. They all laughed at my father, discouraging him, and saying that it would be a waste of his resources to continue spending money on me or any of his four daughters. They were clear in their worldview that the purpose of the girl-child is to be married off, to raise a family and to not have the liberty of a career. To their dismay, my father believed that all five of his children, both his only son and all of his daughters, should receive the same privileges and that just because men may have a degree of responsibility over women, in looking after them, did not mean that women should be deprived of their rights. Through the Grace Of God, my parents – both businesspeople – sent me to join my sister in Cairo, Egypt where she was already studying pharmacy and where I was to embark on a BSc Degree in Nursing.

From 2019 to 2024, I studied in Cairo and during semester vacations, I returned home, continuing with tuition classes and my volunteerism. In 2022, during one of these semester breaks, I stumbled upon a fifteen-year-old girl. It was one late evening, while returning home from lectures, when I saw her. Her face was swollen, and she was unkempt. I saw from a distance that she was sobbing but despite being by the roadside in a heavy downpour, everyone looked her way, saw her state, but no one did anything to assist her. After half an hour of keenly observing, I went up to her, saddened by the lack of sympathy towards her and driven by curiosity to assist her. I introduced myself, and asked her to follow me to the nearest possible shelter, since there were no shelters within walking distance, but she refused. After much placating and reassurance, I convinced her that she is safe with me. She eventually relented and we went to the nearest restaurant, where she washed her face and was served food. Upon finishing our meals, I encouraged her to share her story with me and her story was a tale I have heard all too often throughout my years of volunteering. Her story was one of maltreatment, physical abuse and violence at the hands of her own blood, her aunt. Six months prior to our encounter, she lost her parents to a land dispute and since she was the only child of her late parents, she was made to go stay with her mother’s elder sister. Escaping abuse, she ended up on the streets that night where our paths crossed. With all the details on hand, I then took her to the community leader, the next day, where arrangements were made for her better welfare. Fast forward to 2025, she is happier and is in the first year at university. However, not many of these girls have happy endings. There are many girls and women in the rural parts of Nigeria that face innumerable barriers with zero to minimal opportunities to education, employment and healthcare services while having to contend with social issues such as early marriages, domestic violence, rape and unwanted pregnancies.

Coming from a privileged upbringing and with my passion for humanitarian work, I was geared to wanting to be an agent of change within my society. One year prior to meeting the fifteen-year-old girl, I officially became a volunteer at Creating Happiness and Assistance Foundation (CHAF), a non-profit organization that was established in 2019, while I was in Egypt. I would return home and actively volunteered in the organization until the principal founder, Mr. Aliyu Bello, proposed that I become a co-founder of CHAF as the team was looking to partner with someone with a medical background.

In 2023, I officially joined as the co-founder of CHAF and since then, we have expanded our networks and programmes with a primary focus on widows and orphans. As an organization, we work across four spectrums: personal development, healthcare and medicine, education, and empowerment. Through fundraising campaigns, we strive to create activities that are both educative and entertaining to foster the personal development of orphans, render quality medical assistance to widows and orphans by paying their hospital bills and buying medicine for them, create supportive learning environments, empower young minds for a brighter future and establish sustainable businesses for widows, with orphans under their care, by training and supervising them to be able to independently raise their own children.

Across the country of Nigeria, there is a high rate of orphans due to abandonment relating to poverty and because of children that are born out of wedlock, not because of the death of their parents. Many cases, both reported and unreported, are incidences of babies abandoned at the doorsteps of many residences, found in trashcans and across public places. In the case of reported incidences, these abandoned babies are brought in by the public to organizations, such as CHAF, who then report such incidences to the police and place these vulnerable children in orphanages. While our current focus is on orphans and widows with projects such as Our Kids to the World and Widow Empowerment and Ramadan Feeding, going forward we hope to expand even further by focusing on Back-to-School Drives, Menstrual Hygiene Practices for Girls and Health for All.

Besides my involvement as a co-founder, and being a professional nurse, I am also involved in creating public awareness through radio presentations and offer discounted prices on my products, bought for orphans, under my shoe enterprise, Sparklee Shoeroom. Everything in my life is driven by the question: how can I make life better for those less fortunate than me? Sometimes, I question why I have been given the opportunities that others may not have been granted but then I realize that better opportunities do not mean that I have to improve my lifestyle, it simply means that God is using me as a tool to help others. While I may not be able to change the world, I believe in the power of one person. It takes one person to make the difference in the life of another person and it takes one person to change the outcome of another person. If I am that one person that can make the difference in the life of another person, then I am not just changing that person’s life but also the lives of their coming generation and I would want to be that person.  

If you are interested in learning more about Rahma or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via the website https://www.chafoundation.com/, their Facebook page, Creating Happiness Foundation – CHAF, or email her at agadrahma@gmail.com.

by Yumnah Jones

Sharon Nambakire

Sharon Nambakire, the founder of the MHAMIA Foundation and SIYA TV Uganda

Sharon Nambakire, the founder of the Mental Health and Mental Illness Awareness Foundation (MHAMIA) and Siya TV Uganda, an online streaming channel, is a mental health advocate and humanitarian who is dedicated to helping the vulnerable and needy populations within Uganda. Shaped by her struggles of socioeconomic hardships, Sharon vowed as a little girl to become a contributing citizen of society. Her story shows us that a pure, good heart will always shine through, and that it will lead us to doors of opportunities no money can.

This is Sharon’s story …

As the youngest child and only daughter among eight siblings, I grew up surrounded by the love of my brothers and hardworking mother. After my parents’ divorce, when I was a little girl, my mother had to fend for us, her children, single-handedly, in the bustling and unforgiving terrain of Makindye, Kampala. Life was hard, and money was little to come by but my mother forged ahead by working as a cook at a nearby primary school, to pay for our school fees and to make ends meet.

During the school holidays, our mother cooked maize that my siblings and I would sell on the streets of Kampala but in spite of all her efforts, the financial woes just deepened, resulting in my mother being forced to send two of my brothers to live with her own mother in Entebbe, a neigbouring city of Kampala.

Seeing the hardships, the sweat and the struggles of my family, was the only life I knew. I did not know of a life beyond the microcosm of my own existence and that of my neighbours. We all went about our lives, living hand to mouth and hustling to earn the basic living standards. Surrounded by this reality, I had no dreams, growing up, but I most certainly aspired to be like my mother; hardworking, loyal and dedicated to the upkeep of her children who were sadly neglected by our own father.

A short while after the divorce of my parents, my father was initially present in our lives. I remember him bringing us stuff, at times, to support us in his own way but he was not very present growing up. As an adult, I harbour no resentment nor hate towards him because I understand how hard life can get although the little girl in me always questions the ‘why’. Be that as it may, our lives continued without him because our mother became our sole focus.

I thought our financial woes were normal until it was time for me to attend primary school. It was here that I realized just how bad our situation was because the schoolchildren would make fun of me. They made fun of my shoes, saying I wore my brother’s shoes and my schoolbag, was basically a plastic, polythene bag. I also got chased away from the school premises, during exams, because my mother defaulted on my school fees. I did not inform my mother of the bullying as I knew how hard she was trying to give us the best she could. Despite all the struggles, I became close to one of the teachers, Madam Christine, when I reported the bullying to her and she helped me with my term fees and provided me with books to read, to improve my English since Luganda is my home language.

Growing into a more socially aware young girl, and entering my secondary schooling years, I always used to admire the other children that had better resources than me but it seemed like such a far-fetched reality for me to have nice stuff. Our financial woes resulted in me skipping a school term and working as a nanny, washing clothes and selling maize, to save up money to return to school but even then, it was not enough. When I reached Senior Four, my mother wanted me to attend a vocational institute but I was determined to finish secondary school by attaining my A-Levels.

Fortunately, the secondary school that I attended, Molly and Paul High School, always received visits from American missionaries and through one of these visits, I met a lady by the name of Kimberly, two years prior, during Senior Two, and we kept in touch since then, via emails, as I did not own a cellphone back then.

When I reached my wit’s end on how to proceed with completing my schooling, despite working for extra money, I decided to explain my situation to Kimberly and she offered to pay my school fees for me. With her help, I managed to finish my A-Levels and am forever indebted to her for her assistance.

Shortly after the completion of secondary schooling and with my passion for talking, I received an opportunity to venture into online broadcasting, on a pioneering channel called Vory Wood TV and was trained on the job. During my first stint, I had a show, called Follow Up, where I interviewed different people in the movie industry, every Friday. Later on, I joined Crown TV Uganda, where we hosted The Expendables, interviewing different people in the music industry and then TMC where we hosted the Deep Dive show, once again focusing on the entertainment industry but I eventually quitted the industry due to the prevalent nature of sexual harassment – of which I refused to be a victim of – and decided to focus full-time in the non-profit sector, while hosting my own online broadcasting show called Siya TV Uganda.

Due to growing up very poor, I developed an affinity for helping those just like me. It was during secondary schooling years, when in Senior Five, that our school grounds shifted from Kibuye, to a village in the MPIGI District. It was here that I saw children coming to school without shoes. I was so touched by their plight that I prayed to God to one day put me in a position where I am able to help others. The decision to follow through on my prayers came after I quit working for others, in the online broadcasting sector, and ventured on my own.

In 2021, I established the Sharon Inspiring Youth Africa (SIYA) Foundation dedicated to the upliftment of the youth. During this period, for three years, my family, friends and I would collect shoes and clothes for school-going children, to give them a sense of dignity when attending schools. We also provided stationery and any other materials, to facilitate their school-going years, and to this day as an organization, we still do these collection drives albeit under a different name,

We rebranded the SIYA Foundation to the Mental Health and Mental Illness Awareness (MHAMIA) Foundation, in 2024, shortly after the suicide of my cousin in April 2023. His death came as a complete shock to our family, which many deemed as a result of witchcraft, which is a common misconception among Ugandans. I have to admit, even I was not clued up on mental health, and its prevalence, until I had to educate myself on it and with this, the MHAMIA Foundation was born.

The purpose of the MHAMIA Foundation is to create mental health awareness and destigmatize misconceptions surrounding mental illness in Uganda. To date, we have had outreach programmes within twenty-two communities, including schools. Through our awareness campaigns, both the youth and older generations have gained insight and understanding on topics relating to the importance of mental health and well-being and the demystification of witchcraft, as its cause. As an organization, and through my online broadcasting show, we hope to reach more people and create a culture of acceptance, non-judgement and compassion towards those suffering from mental health issues and to stress the importance of mental well-being.

By the end of my life, when I look back on all the milestones in my life, I want to be proud of myself for taking the needed steps to help others. I want to help people. I want to listen to them, without judgement. I want to be there, even if its just my presence. I also want to encourage others to be the needed tool of change within their respective societies. You do not need the world to make a difference but the world certainly needs you, to make that difference, to be like the Madam Christine’s and the Kimberley’s that shines their light when it is most needed.

While I may not be a university graduate, although this is a milestone and dream, I will achieve in the foreseeable future, God-Willing, my journey shows that it does not take an education to make a difference. It simply takes a good heart, with pure intentions, to light the candles of others, so they, too, can achieve their dreams.

If you are interested in learning more about Sharon or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her website https://mhamia.ahavah-creations.org/, her Facebook page, MHAMIA Foundation, or email her at mhamiafoundation18@gmail.com.

by Yumnah Jones

Maymoona Chouglay

Maymoona Chouglay, founder of Infinite Abilities

Maymoona Chouglay, the founder of Infinite Abilities, is a social worker both in her professional capacity and as a volunteer. She is deeply involved in trying to alleviate the societal challenges of the disabled community. Her journey to finding her own path has driven her to facilitate the lives of the visually impaired. Her story shows us that it is important to always find the silver lining in the cloud, irrespective of the challenges, and that we all have the power to turn our pain into purpose.

This is Maymoona’s story …

I am sitting in the classroom and all I see is a colourful blurriness, but I cannot see the distinct features on the faces of my fellow classmates nor the letters on the dark green board a few feet away from me. It feels like a cloud hovering in front of me, through which I need to see, but I find comfort in the presence of my mother, my pillar, and my strength. She is seated alongside me, to make the lines in the book darker, to read to me from the board and to help me with learning to write, between the lines, and on the days that she is not present in class with me, my teacher tries her best to include me in all the activities.

When I reflect on my first two years of mainstream schooling, in Johannesburg, South Africa, I can remember clearly how challenging it was trying to immerse myself in a classroom designed for and filled with learners without disabilities. The struggle to immerse myself in my new surroundings was not due to a lack of care but due to a lack of special-needs resources and infrastructure, which is predominant in most mainstream schools within South Africa. 

In 1987, I was born six months prematurely, in Kimberley, South Africa, weighing 680 grams. While being incubated, I was given too much oxygen which resulted in my retinas becoming detached. Despite having undergone several operations, and receiving the best ophthalmologic care, nothing could be done to reverse the damage, thereby causing me to become visually impaired. With the need to search for better working opportunities, my parents returned to my father’s hometown, in Johannesburg, a city situated five hours away from Kimberley.

It was while I was in Johannesburg, that I entered mainstream schooling. However, the respective school was not equipped to accommodate my condition and we were referred to Prinshof School, for the visually impaired, in Pretoria, South Africa. After we went for our first appointment at Prinshof, to ascertain if it would work for me, my mother assured me that I would manage at the special school, and that she would continue to assist me.

When I was eight years old, we relocated from Johannesburg to Pretoria to enable me to start my new journey. I went from having to sit in front of the board in my former mainstream school, to be able to read the letters, to being able to immerse myself in an accommodating world with learners who endured similar challenges as me. Prinshof was truly the game changer in my development as an individual. It set me on a path of healing and growth by creating a space of belonging. Before Prinshof, I did not have a strong sense of self but through Prinshof, I became very confident and found my sense of self.

I became active and partook in many school activities including athletics, swimming, piano lessons, and the school choir. I completed Grades 1, 2 and 3 within 6 months of commencement. The rate of my development was outstanding to the extent that Prinshof wanted to promote me to Grade 4 within my first year. However, my mother refused the suggestion with the reason of wanting me to focus on learning braille and to become more well-rounded by acquiring skills in other areas, not just academics.

For the next three years, I was thriving at Prinshof but then, in Grade 6, at age 11, my World got shaken to the core by the sudden loss of my mother to lupus. It really stunned me that my biggest supporter was no longer there to cheer me on and to guide me on my path of becoming … There are days that I still miss my mother. I miss her tender touch, her comforting hugs, and her unconditional love but as a child, it was harder to navigate the World, without her, because she was my voice, and as a child, I was still finding my voice. In the midst of the darkness, my father and I held on to each other, and even if I never got over the loss of my mother, I appreciate and have the greatest respect for my father, for always being there for me and for creating a sense of normalcy for me, when she left this World.  

One year after my mother’s passing, my father remarried, and I was blessed with a second mother. She became the mother I needed when my own mother was no longer, and our little family of three was later expanded with the arrival of my twin brothers. This sense of family has been my comfort and through the coming years, I continued to thrive at Prinshof until I completed my secondary education. When I started studying at university, interestingly, it felt like I was regressing into the real world where the mundaneness of university life was in fact, a blind person’s nightmare, all because of a lack of reasonable accommodation.

It was tough adjusting but fortunately, my mother accompanied me to campus as I embarked on my BA Degree in Social Work at the University of Pretoria. She was there for the first six months, assisting me with navigating classes and making notes, until we employed the services of an assistant that walked me to classes, typed my notes and books, where needed, and executed any other tasks that were required. Although I used a white cane, it was very difficult navigating campus with it because university buildings are not always streamlined and flat-surfaced to facilitate walking unaided or even, with a cane.

During my second year of university, I was further diagnosed with glaucoma, which caused me to lose my eyesight completely. I nearly threw in the towel and quit university because my condition got progressively worse, and the daily challenges were just mounting. It was tough but as a believer, I was reminded of one of the most enlightening verses in The Qur’an, “Allah does not burden any soul greater than it can bear” (Chapter 2, Verse 286) and I soldiered on. Six years after I started university, not only did I complete my BA Degree in Social Work, in 2012, but I also graduated, in 2013, with a BA Honours in Social Work.

I have worked and continue to work both within the governmental and non-governmental sectors, from Gauteng North Services to the Department of Social Development and am currently busy with my Masters in Disability Studies. Being a person that is living with a disability, has augmented, and aligned me to assist people with disabilities, in addition to my other social work responsibilities. I am involved in extensive voluntary community work, with other organizations, including the supervision of a home for blind children, from ensuring their well-being to their accessibility to an education, and an empowerment center under the auspices of a non-governmental organization, Garden Social Services. I was previously involved in consulting work with the braille packaging of skincare product ranges with L’Occitane, for a two-year period (2018-2019), and currently participate in public speaking engagements, disability awareness training and campaigns and have also established my own organization.

In 2019, Infinite Abilities was established as a consulting firm to serve persons with disabilities, and their families, with therapeutic to general support and empowerment services. The organization offers educational and disability awareness training to businesses and organizations and supervises social workers and social auxiliary workers in their respective roles in accordance with the Social Work Supervision Policy Framework but with a special focus on dealing with persons with disabilities. The vision of Infinite Abilities is that through its services, every professional will become aware of and be educated and equipped with the skills, tools, and guidelines to assist persons with disabilities that they may encounter in the workplace or in their everyday lives.

For the past four years, since its inception, Infinite Abilities has been a one-woman show. Hence, with the aim of expanding and bringing members on to the executive board, the organization hopes to reach more individuals, living with disabilities, by providing resources to aid in their medical care and counselling services, their educational aspirations and to enable the disabled community to live empowered lives. Furthermore, Infinite Abilities aspire to assist social workers to establish their own private practices with the aim of accommodating more persons with disabilities that are unable to reach the government’s social work services due to geographical locations or being under-capacitated.

There are numerous daily challenges that I encounter in my interactions with people that are not attuned to my visual impairment, from a personal assistant that may not read the instructions clearly, to me, to a driver that does not drop me off at a precise location and it is frustrating, and it can be depressing but I refuse to live in those moments of darkness. I am a firm believer that this condition has been bestowed upon me, to be of service to humanity, to aid me in understanding the nuances of living with a visual impairment and to use my voice to be a voice for other visually impaired children and adults.  No matter where my journey may lead to next, I will continue to strive and empower myself, to the best of my ability, to use those skills to help the disabled community but my deepest desire, in all of this, is that society learn to pass the baton, to persons living with disabilities too. We are more than just being disabled.

If you are interested in learning more about Maymoona or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her Facebook page, Infinite Abilities, or email her at info@infiniteabilities.co.za.

by Yumnah Jones

Anel Coetzee

Anel Coetzee, founder of the South African Visually Impaired Community (SAVIC)

Anel Coetzee, the founder of SAVIC, is a legal advisor and a former attorney. Her journey to finding her niche has been no easy feat and was fraught with tremendous challenges because of the unbending nature of society to reject that which is deemed different. Her story shows us that with the right support, we can all become contributing citizens of the World and that we should never underestimate the power of the slightest gesture of support as it can facilitate and alleviate the struggles of others as they go about their daily lives.

This is  Anel’s story …

I can feel the cool metal of the railing surrounding my balcony, with my fingertips. I can hear the sounds of moving vehicles and people going about their daily lives, eight floors beneath me. It smells like rain, but for the moment, the sun warms my face, and it is a beautiful day. I know what beauty feels like, I know what it sounds like, and I know it is something that can be experienced by all of our senses, but I do not know what it looks like. In fact, I do not know what anything looks like. In my world, there are only shapes and shadows in which days are either blurred or too bright, with many moving objects and no colours. 

In 1992, I was born in Johannesburg, South Africa with a condition known as Congenital Rubella Syndrome (CRS). It is a condition that occurs when the rubella virus, German measles, in the mother affects the developing baby. There are a myriad of complications associated with CRS but in my case, it affected my retinas.  With damaged retinas and no available cure, I have had to navigate the world depending largely on my other senses.  

Growing up, my childhood was, by all accounts, normal. Apart from some minor adjustments like teaching me to use my remaining senses to accomplish certain tasks, my father, a businessman, and my mother, a teacher, ensured that I, just like my sighted siblings, live an active life. I learnt to ride a bicycle, played hide-and-seek with the neighbourhood children, made my own bed (when I was reminded to), and spent my school holidays climbing trees and swimming in my grandparents’ dam.

Since I could not attend mainstream school with my sisters, I was sent to Prinshof School, a school for visually impaired children. While completing my formative education, I met other children with disabilities who became my friends, for life. However, this educational system, where disabled children are isolated from society and their families, would ultimately become one of the greatest challenges later in my life, because it did not prepare me for life outside the carefully designed and adapted world in which I grew up in.

Through Prinshof, I received a good education, learnt braille and participated in other curricular activities such as the school choir and piano lessons. However, the school did not offer a broad spectrum of sporting activities. With this in mind, my parents decided to enrol me in acrobatic gymnastics after my eldest sister introduced me to it.

With my visual impairment and my love for Barbie’s, I first learnt acrobatic gymnastics through a gymnastic doll. The doll became the tool used to show me how to perform various acrobatic tricks, as I would feel where the doll’s arms and legs were positioned, and then copied those movements with my own body. I practiced this for hours on end and to my astonishment, realized that I was really good at it. I loved walking on my hands, doing back walkovers and challenging myself to what I could do. My introduction to acrobatic gymnastics was “love at first pointed toe” to the extent that I started to participate in competitions, outside of school grounds. Through this exposure. I was starting to become aware that the world was not designed for people with disabilities and that it was up to me to advocate for my individual needs since fellow competitors complained that I was given preferential treatment because the judges pitied me.  It was for the first time in my life that I learnt that perception matters and that it often matters far more than reality.

Consequently, my dance teacher would enrol me without disclosing my disability and the ramification of this was that I could not ask for reasonable accommodation. Thus, prior to the competition period, my parents would take me to the location of competitions to teach me the layout of the stage and to show me where the judges and the audience would be seated. Determined to prove my naysayers wrong, I put in a lot of effort and practice. Finally, in 2002, at the age of 10, I won the South African National Acrobatics Championships in my category, where I was one of approximately eighteen participants, but the only dancer with a disability.

In 2010, I matriculated and decided to pursue a career in law. I registered for a LLB degree at the University of the Free State and in January 2011, my mother and grandmother dropped me off at campus, a five-hours’ drive from home. I was super excited about the new adventures that lay ahead and was eager to start my university lectures.


At 18 years of age and having already experienced my fair share of discrimination and bullying, I thought if I left my white cane at home (which Mom later sent to me within my first month of arrival. What was I thinking right?) and pretended to not have a disability, I would have a better chance of blending in with the crowd and making new friends. But alas, 2011 was the year that I realized how dismally my country has failed me by not providing inclusive education. All of a sudden, I went from a classroom of five learners to a lecture hall of 500 students, with no reasonable accommodation.

Campus life was a challenge as both lecturers and fellow students had no idea how to accommodate or behave around a visually impaired person. Neither did I receive the appropriate orientation and mobility training to navigate the campus. There were also many other disabled students and a limited capacity to timeously convert my textbooks into braille. In most cases, I did not receive my books in time for test and exam preparations and had to write from knowledge acquired during lectures. I subsequently failed my first year and  when I started over, in my second year of university, I started to learn how to use a computer and screen reader and switched from braille study materials to electronic study materials (e-books), which were not very popular at that time.

For most of my able-bodied peers, living in residence with me, the prospect of attending university, was exciting, and their biggest concern was coping with an increased course load and not being awoken by the early morning calls of their parents. As a disabled person, I had to contend with a lack of accessible study materials, a lack of awareness, inaccessible lectures and having to learn to cook for myself and doing my own laundry. It was overwhelming, and the volume of work which included study guides, textbooks and case law was more reading than I have ever done but I pushed ahead.

During the period of my studies, I have acquired so much knowledge on legal subject matters  but the most valuable lessons I have learnt were about myself. On countless occasions, I have wandered unknowingly into male lavatories, approached store mannequins for assistance, walked into doors and knocked over spectacles from people’s faces trying to feel for a seat on trains. I am no stranger to embarrassment and the older I get, the less these incidents hurt my pride. Although I did not blend in and still experienced bullying and ignorance, I chose to not let the actions of others define me. I went on to graduate with an LLB from UFS and completed my articles of clerkship before becoming a practicing attorney.

Securing a job after the completion of my studies was extremely difficult because I was blind and without a driver’s licence. When some of the law firms realized I was visually impaired, I was instantly rejected after initial consideration. Eventually, I was employed by a law firm in Johannesburg and gained valuable experience, but the career path was very taxing as I constantly had to prove myself to clients. Most of my colleagues knew I was capable and competent, and with their guidance and mentorship, I was able to accomplish my tasks, attend meetings and prepare for and appear in court.   However, the unfortunate reality was that most of my working time were spent with strangers and because I am a disabled woman, I was deemed incapable and was treated with condescension.

As an attorney, is it integral to have a good clientele but as a blind attorney, it was difficult to build up a clientele. After five years in practice, and with the firm’s helpful transition from an archival filing system to a paperless system, I reached my personal goals through hard work and consistent effort and was, by society’s standards, successful. Successful, but not happy … I thought that after becoming an attorney, I would finally receive the respect that I have always yearned for as a human being, living with a visual impairment, but despite my accomplishments, that were recognized, I was never fully regarded as an equal. It was a mental health struggle, for me, and time for a change.

In due course, I found work as a legal advisor at a company that tremendously improved the quality of my life, because for the first time, my abilities mattered more than my disability. I am not a visually impaired legal advisor; I am a legal advisor that is competent, capable and hardworking. I am seen as an equal, functioning individual of the greater society. Fortunately for me, this is my current path, but not many disabled individuals can say the same. They continue to walk a path, in society, that praises them when they succeed in a world that is not designed for them yet fails to accommodate them with opportunities to integrate and contribute. Societal barriers are the greatest hurdle for disabled individuals to overcome and through first-hand experience, I can vouch that if disabled individuals are surrounded by people who actively remove these societal barriers, then their disability will not be an issue.

While I enjoy my career and the challenges it presents, my heart will always be with the disabled community. When I am not at work, I spend my time creating awareness, along with my canine companion, on  disabilities but particularly on visual impairments and guide dogs. I share my story in the hopes that it will encourage disabled people to step outside of their comfort zones and reach for their dreams. I also try to destigmatize the myths and misperceptions on disabilities.

For many years, I have felt that the visually impaired community is disconnected and that although we face similar obstacles and challenges, we tend to waste our time and resources by trying to solve our problems, individually. As a result, I started to research practical and accessible ways  that would unite the visual impaired community. 

Earlier this year, in 2022, I launched an online platform, called the South African Visually Impaired Community (SAVIC) on Discord. The purpose of SAVIC is to create a single platform and sense of community where visually impaired  South Africans can find all the resources available to discuss the different career paths chosen, to provide information on employment and bursary opportunities and to share insights on accessible living. SAVIC is a resourceful community, consisting of 41 members, with a lot of expertise. Currently, we host events on topics ranging from access to justice, accessible traveling and new technologies. Going forward, my vision for SAVIC, is that it can be used to identify and rally, as a collective, against instances of discrimination. We are looking to expand our networks and have created a Facebook group that is open to any interested visually impaired person, and their families.

I may be classified as disabled, but I am more than that. I am a sister, a friend, a partner, a professional and an animal lover. My lack of sight does not define me in these roles. My disability moulded me into a resilient and empathetic person, it taught me patience and to find the humour in every situation, but it will never prevent me from living a fulfilling life.

If you are interested in learning more about Anel or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her Facebook page, Life after blindness or email her at coetzee.anel@gmail.com. If you are visually impaired and would like to know more about SAVIC, you can join her Facebook Group, SAVI Community.

by Yumnah Jones

Rachel Affiong Umoh

Rachel Affiong Umoh, founder of The Wonder In Me (TWIM)

Rachel Affiong Umoh is a driven and ambitious young woman. She is a compere, has her own West African pidgin YouTube Channel called Psyche Special TV, which focuses on mental health wellness and special needs, and is a qualified psychologist with a passion to help the most vulnerable within her society.  Her story shows us that the dreams we have may not always evolve as we anticipated but that we need to rise to the challenge that is presented to us because oftentimes, the challenge is the key to achieving our dreams.

This is Rachel’s story … 

Prior to my birth in Kaduna State, Nigeria, my parents both emigrated separately from their respective Yoruba and Ibibio states in the South of Nigeria before meeting, marrying, and raising their three daughters, of whom I am the eldest, in the North. We grew up culturally aware of the different tribes in our families, switching easily between speaking Ibibio in Akwalbom State and Yoruba in Ogun State, when visiting our extended families. Being born into an intertribal family has been, and still is, both a source of pride and honour for me but it has also made me attuned to and impacted by the tribalism that is rife in Nigeria.

As a minority tribe in the community where I grew up in, certain access and privileges were denied not just to my family but also to certain other tribes. We were deprived of free mosquito nets and COVID-19 pandemic palliatives, denied applying for vocational training programmes and poverty alleviation incentives, such as agricultural loans and business grants, that were provided for by the government, but which were locally administered. Through the local management of such programmes, we were never timeously informed or even allowed to participate in such incentives. Recurring stigmatization and discrimination, both historically and presently, of tribes over the hierarchical access to privileges, at grassroots level, often causes rising tensions which leads to communal and tribal clashes and inter-religious conflicts in both Northern and other parts of Nigeria.

Growing up and witnessing such forms of oppression, injustices, and corruption within my region and across Nigeria and having seen, first-hand, the adverse effects it often has on the most vulnerable groups within our society, moulded my perception of the unfairness of the World surrounding me. It motivated me to want to become a lawyer and solicit for the rights of the vulnerable and the violated, to be able to provide them with the adequate support to live independent and self-fulfilling lives

As a top achiever and having been elected as the president of the press club and debate club at secondary school, I applied to study law at my chosen university in the hopes of fulfilling my childhood dream. However, despite my excellent academic record, I was denied admission because my parents did not hold high-powered positions in the country. My mother is a teacher, by profession, and a serial entrepreneur, while my father is a civil servant, but they were not connected to the crème da la crème of society, and this affected my prospects of becoming a lawyer. It felt like a gross injustice but an accepting reality and with this in mind, I proceeded to change university and course with the aim of studying mass communication because I felt that I can still advocate for the rights of the most vulnerable but using a different tactic, mass media.

However, while I was accepted to study at the next chosen university and passed the qualifying exam to be admitted into the mass communication programme, when I received notification of acceptance, I discovered that instead of being admitted into the chosen programme, I was assigned to study psycho-social rehabilitation. While this may sound confusing to others, this is the norm across Nigerian society; you may apply for one course but might end up getting admitted to another course (that you never even chose as a second option!) but we take this either with a sense of humour or a pinch of salt.

Hence, my parents encouraged me to accept studying psycho-social rehabilitation, which would certify me as a psychologist, as God’s Will for my life and with this in mind, I made the intention to commit myself to this course chosen for me although I was, at the time, not happy with the choice as psychology was all new to me. However, I was pleasantly surprised because as I learnt more about psychology in the first few weeks after the commencement of the programme, I realized the level of impact I can leave in my wake with the exposure, skills and training I would receive during my studies. It made me realize that my childhood dream of advocating for women, displaced persons and the special-needs can still come to fruition through the tools of psycho-social rehabilitation. I took to learning with zest and learnt as much as I possibly could on rehabilitation, social violation cases, HIV testing and counselling and volunteered at relevant non-governmental organizations including a 6-month working stint at Kaduna State Rehabilitation Centre and a one-year compulsory internship at the Department of Social Welfare at a general hospital in Kaduna State. The theoretical and practical exposure has been tremendous, and I eventually qualified as a psychologist in 2020.  

It was during my final year of studies that I reached out to individuals within the rehabilitation and counselling sector to form a team and established a non-governmental organization, The Wonders In Me (TWIM). TWIM is a state-registered advocacy organization driven by the mission of a “Better Me For Better Society” and the belief that mental health wellness and inclusiveness is integral to a well-balanced and functioning society. While we advocate against the stigmatization and discrimination of persons with special needs, we have also ensured that 50% of our organization’s executive members and 50% of our volunteers constitutes persons with special needs. Thus, with the current 20 executive members, on board, and 100 volunteers, half of this number represents persons with special needs.

We advocate in communities, at schools, rehabilitation centres, internally displaced (IDP) camps, prisons, and other relevant organizations. The organization’s activities includes both social media campaigns and event hosting. For the past two years, we have launched mental health clubs in 20 secondary schools across Kaduna State, provided relief support to IDP camps, orphanages and rehabilitation centres and donated wheelchairs, crutches and braces, special education training materials and other rehabilitation aids to rehabilitation centres and special education schools. We also organize training programmes for staff on the proper use of modern-day rehabilitation services for children with sensory impairments and learning difficulties and host outreach awareness programmes, which includes guest speakers and key stakeholders. The long-term vision and current challenge are to get TWIM nationally registered and to establish our offices so that we can offer counselling and rehabilitation services to more individuals and expand on the current work that we do.

I am often asked what triggered my interest in advocating for special-needs as I am not a special-needs individual, but the truth is I am part of a minority tribe within my community, and this has deepened my insights into their sense and reality of not being included and having access to an active society. Thus, I would never want any special-needs individual to ever feel like they do not belong or cannot participate. Furthermore, the beauty of having grown up in an intertribal family is that it has granted me the understanding into different worlds that may, in other instances, view each with disdain or hostility and the truth is the spheres within which special-needs and able-bodied individuals navigate tend to be two different worlds. It is important to realize that irrespective of our tribal and religious affiliations, our nationalities, our abilities, or limitations, we are all the same. We are all human and it is important that we represent or provide the vulnerable and the violated with opportunities and platforms to be represented not because of their weaknesses but because they are capable, strong, and willing to participate in society that sadly, often, forgets them. It is important that we reach within ourselves and find our humanity and work together towards a world that can represent all of us and not one at the expense of another.  It is this passion that drives me, despite all my personal and professional challenges, and no matter the hurdles, my story is proof to every African woman that giving up on your dreams is not an option. Keep on striving for your dreams and utilize every opportunity that presents itself to you because all the small steps you take in your journey will lead to greater strides.

If you are interested in learning more about Rachel or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her Facebook page, TWIM “The Wonder In Me”, or email her at rachelumoh3@gmail.com or thewonderinme262@gmail.com

by Yumnah Jones

Ruvimbo Kadyevu

Ruvimbo Kadyevu, founder of EthelartConnect

Ruvimbo Kadyevu is a recipient of the Tony Elumelu Entrepreneurship Award. She is an innovator, entrepreneur and motivational speaker with a passion for the Arts. She strives to serve by developing and empowering aspiring African artists. Her personal story is a reminder of how much we tend to take for granted and teaches us to appreciate the fragility of Life. We may be here today and gone tomorrow but what we choose to do with our time determines our legacy. 

This is Ruvimbo’s story … 

“I was born prematurely, at eight months, with a lung condition called chronic bronchiectasis in the Murewa District of Zimbabwe. As a result of this condition, I suffer from permanent damage to my aveolis and bronchiles, causing symptoms like breathing difficulties, fatigue, a large production of phlegm and chronic coughing. 

It was particularly taxing to grow up with bronchiectasis especially considering that I was always misdiagnosed, which meant that I did not have the correct support system to treat it, and was also single-handedly raised by my mother. 

My mother was a head school teacher and the nature of her work entailed being despatched to work at rural schools in the Murewa District and other parts of Zimbabwe. This left her with no choice but to ask relatives to look after me in her absence. Although they agreed to take me in, I would sometimes end up staying for short periods of time because some of them did not know how to deal with my condition and because of it, I was moved to another relative.

Throughout the years, I suffered from infections and episodes and would be hospitalized all the time but it was only in 2019 that I was correctly diagnosed with bronchiectasis. I was told it was a miracle I survived and still a miracle that I am alive. 

While growing up and being hospitalized frequently, I went less and less to school and would constantly move from one house to another much like a foster kid. My illness made everything worse but luckily I was a bright student, so even if I spent one week per month at school, I still managed to catch up with my schoolwork. It was a hard fight for me to pass; no one ever thought I would make it to university or amount to anything. 

Living with a chronic lung condition is very hard and a continuous struggle. For the average healthy person, it may take 3-4 days to recover from flu but for me, it could be fatal. In an incident of getting the flu, I can be hospitalized from one to three months and be in constant pain trying to recover and have to learn to walk again. 

I battled with low self-esteem and became socially distant and had to depend on the natural Instinctive tactics of survival, to make it to the next level. I worked hard and became focused on achieving my goal to finish and graduate secondary school. I could not attend boarding school due to my health issues and was instead moved to relatives to attend better schools in the city. I passed my ordinary level (O-Level) and advanced level (A-Level) and could move on to university level but my mother could not afford my university tuition since my younger brother was starting secondary school and hence, I had to take a gap year 

During my gap year, I had to look for a job and in that time someone attempted to rape me which brought on added trauma. I returned home and received counselling while staying focused on getting to university. I applied to study psychology because of my passion to help people but I also had another passion; I wanted to pursue a degree in the Arts with the hopes of establishing a career.  Besides, passion, I was also talented but my mother instead encouraged me to focus on a more stable career choice since as I am academically gifted as well. 

I then opted to study psychology but juxtaposed it with researching the Arts industry in Zimbabwe and Africa. It was during my research that I realized there are so many artistically young and talented people out there that were sitting on their talents because of a lack of support and mentorship programmes. Due to this, and my galvanizing passion for the Arts, I established a company called EthelartConnect which promotes upcoming artists and African Visual Art on global spaces.

I established EthelartConnect, at the age of 22, during my second year of studies at the University of Zimbabwe, and had to hustle after university classes selling chargers in the streets to make my vision become a reality. Fortunately, I had a friend who was tech-savvy and believed in my vision. He helped me with setting up my website and tending to the technicalities of domain hosting and management. Although we were both amateurs in this new process, we would stay awake at night researching, reaching out to people to support us and establishing a marketing brand for the new company. We received so many rejections but still forged ahead to the current platform we have established and of course, we are still growing as an organization.

In 2018, shortly after the establishment of EthelartConnect, my lungs collapsed while I was in my final year of university. I was resuscitated after a hectic struggle but the doctors, through God’s Mercy, managed to revive me. Through this incident, I lost and later recovered my event memory. I also lost my job as a research executive for a consultancy firm due to my long period of hospitalization. Fortunately though, I managed to graduate from university with a BSc Hons in Psychology. 

In February 2020, I started developing hypoxia as my bodily cells and tissues were lacking oxygen to the point that I was again hospitalized for a 2 month period and were on life support. All this occurred before the COVID-19 pandemic hit Africa and even prior to this pandemic, I had to wear a mask to protect myself from contracting the flu. Due to rising hospital bills, I had to be discharged even though I needed oxygen support. I took a leap of faith and went home, hoping God would heal me. It was a very depressing period because it was such a struggle to breathe and I could not afford an oxygen tank, which is very costly. I thought I was losing everything. People do not realize the gift of oxygen and fail to appreciate the God-given ability to inhale oxygen. In my case, I needed to buy an oxygen tank, simply to breathe but through God’s Grace, I managed to recover, without an oxygen tank, and I hope I will never have to experience hypoxia again.

Since I was so focused on my recovery, it adversely affected my business and my artists who were dependent on me to lead the way. Although my health is a major challenge, we are working towards our goal and I have a wonderful team of young and talented individuals that assists with the administrative and managerial side of EthelartConnect.

EthelartConnect is an art talent management and marketing organization with the objective to provide clients globally with quality artistic services and promoting talents to be career-oriented. We serve artists by identifying and recognizing talent, grooming it into professional careers and brand talent into international standard markets. We then market the talent through the selling of artworks and by finding clients. We also represent artists as their front runners for partnerships and collaborations and create events, exhibitions and projects to showcase their talents. 

As an organization, we also conduct visual art awareness campaigns and embrace visual artists’ work through our media segments and feature the artists behind the artworks and their inspirational stories of becoming. Through the establishment of EthelartConnect, we have assisted more than 50 artists and during our years of operation, we have coached them into realizing their skills and have given them exposure both nationally and internationally. We have created not only a brand but also a safe space for artists to achieve more. We recently expanded and registered our business in South Africa, while working with amazing artists from Botswana and have reached other major players in Africa and Europe with the hope to promote more contemporary African Art.

I am a firm believer that our background, struggles and circumstances does not define who we are but what we do as individuals does. While Arts is my passion, my personal struggles with bronchiectasis has led me, in partnership with my friend, Anesa Murawu, also a lung condition sufferer, to establish a non-governmental organization called Breathe Hope Foundation which provides moral support for people living with and battling lung conditions and the foundation aims to create awareness among communities and the health sector for individuals such as myself. While lung conditions may not be outwardly defined as a disability, it certainly robs us of opportunities since we are always sick or prone to sickness. It is for this reason that I am fighting for people, such as myself, that struggles daily. I am a survivor; not a victim and I live one day at a time and each day I try my best to bring happiness to someone with what I have. While others may find me to be inspiring, I believe I am here today because of God’s Grace and everything I am today and everything I have managed to  achieve has been because of Him; The One whose Hand, I lean on, to guide me through every battle … “

If you are interested in learning more about Ruvimbo or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her Facebook page, EthelartConnect Enterprise, or email her at ethelartconnect@gmail.com

by Yumnah Jones

Sindiswa Mabindisa

Sindiswa Mabindisa, founder of Wretched Woman’s Diary

Sindiswa was born in the township of Tembisa, Gauteng and had a very tough upbringing that no child chooses. Her story shows us that we do not choose the situation into which we are born; it chooses us but that with the calling that God bestows upon our lives, it can take one from the slums of the Earth to the Heavens before His Eyes. He sees our beauty in the way people may not and He chooses us to do the work we are called to do, to a door no man can close.

This is Sindiswa’s story…

Their marriage was a mess; they were always fighting. Every weekend my dad was drunk, and he would hit my mom. In 1998, they eventually divorced, and mom moved out and left us with our dad. Since then my dad got involved with women that treated us badly. I remember one incident where I innocently called one of his girlfriends’ “mother”. She got so mad at me and said in a condescending tone, “andingi mamakho wena!” (I am not your mother!).

We, my elder sister (aged 7), little brother (aged 4) and I (aged 6), were then sent to Eastern Cape to live with my dad’s family but we were never made to feel like we were part of the family. We had to fend for ourselves and our little brother, from changing his nappies to doing house chores. We were children but were not treated as children, being recipients of harsh words and treatment, and this had a profound effect on me. But, instead of things getting better, things just got worse.

Back home, in Tembisa, my dad remarried eight years after my parents’ divorce. In the time that we were sent to live with our paternal family, he never supported us. My grandmother, his own mother, took him to the Maintenance Court to seek financial support. But instead of owning up to his responsibilities, he resigned from his job, just so he could evade them. Each time my grandmother took him to court, he resigned from his job. Each time. She tried numerous times, but he refused to support us.  

He then summoned us back to Tembisa to live with him and his new wife, our stepmother. We were welcomed into a living hell but this time, it was only me and my brother. Even though my dad always had a drinking problem, this new life was to escalate into me doing things I never thought in my young mind, that I would ever do.   

While we were back at home, we were forced to eat pap and tomatoes while my dad, his wife and her child would dine out at restaurants. I became the domestic worker at home. I had to cook dinner, do everyone’s laundry, include cleaning their sheets filled with semen, and every housework chore one can think of, on an empty stomach. 

As I said, my dad had a drinking problem but this time, they decided to open a shebeen (a private house selling alcohol) and they made me the “shebeen girl”. I had to sell alcohol from Friday nights until Monday mornings. This decision, of theirs, opened our doors to shady characters and soon, we would have men sleeping over at our house. Strange men, lewd men, sick men. My stepmother invited them in and refused them to leave. She said people were going to kill them, with them being so drunk, and she made space for them to sleep on the floors, alongside me. I always slept on the floors but now, I had company.

Some memories of them are vague, other memories are clear. I recall one of them touching my neck. He kissed my neck and moved his hands between my thighs and said to me that he can do anything he wants with me and he will give me money … I used to share my sleeping space with those men.

As a girl, you want the love of your father, but my dad never loved me. He made it very clear that he did not love me and sometimes, he would hit me for no reason. His words towards me were always harsh but the words that I will never forget is him saying, “Mhla nda thenga umpu uzoba ngowo kuqala umntu endizo mdubula” (The day I buy a gun, you would be the first one I’d shoot) and he always reminded me that he would shoot me once he gets himself a gun.

Finally, 2008 arrived and he got the gun but he never followed through on his threat. In a twist of fate, the year he got the gun is the year I moved out and the year he died.

In April 2008, I moved in with my mom and a few months later, when I returned from a family visit to my aunt in Katlehong, my mom fell sick. She was bedridden and in a hopeless state. I greeted her, “molweni mama” but she didn’t respond. My sister replied and said, “uMama uyagula and akakwazi ukuthetha” (Mom is sick, and she cannot talk). I looked at my mom and she was crying. I didn’t know what to say to her, but I could see she was in pain.

In that moment, I recalled the complexity of our relationship, from the sense of abandonment I felt as a child to the woman suffering before my eyes. Mom could not talk nor walk, so my sister and I used to bathe her and take care of her. Her state was saddening because she could not even tell us when she needed to use the toilet. On the 16th September 2008, I received a call in which my mom managed to muster her strength to tell me that she loves me and a day later, the 17th September 2008, she died.

I was 17 years old at the time she died and shortly after her death; I told my sister that we need to go to dad to ask for food because we had nothing to eat. I begged him for food, but he responded, “Akho kutya apha hambani!” (There’s no food here, so leave!). He was so mad at me for asking and refused. Maybe if it was my sister asking for food, he would have given her. I was so worried because my sister had a two-year-old and we were all hungry. That night he came to our house, but I then ran to his aunt’s house. He followed me to his aunt, along with my stepmother, and wanted to hit me but his aunt told him not to. He then told me, “Uba ndingafa ungezi emngcwabeni wam ngoba nawe uba ufile asoze ndize” (If I die don’t come to my funeral because when you die, I won’t go to yours).  Those were his last words to me because on the 10th November 2008, he died.

We had nowhere to go because when my mom was alive, she was renting and when she died, I asked my aunt if she could rent with us but a month later, she left to live with her biological dad and we had to make plans to move because we didn’t have money for rent. I remember so vividly the times I would knock on people’s doors to ask for a place to sleep. There were nights where I questioned the purpose of my existence.

In 2010, unbeknown to me at the time, the answer to my question was being answered. While I was on a visit in Eastern Cape, my grandmother told me about some young lady who was sick. I asked to go see her and when I got there, she was lying in her own faeces. I asked to bathe her and did that for two weeks. My cousin then asked me to come visit them in Cape Town. When I got there, her own cousin had tuberculosis (TB). I took care of her as well. I would bathe her and take her to the clinic for her checkups until she died in 2011.

In 2016, one of the grandmothers in my extended family, who was mentally ill, suffered from an epileptic fit. She was sick, vomiting and bedridden, in her own faeces. Nobody wanted to assist her, and I was told to call an ambulance. I then offered to bathe her, and this is how I started my career looking after the elderly and the disabled.  

In 2019, I established my non-profit organization called Wretched Woman’s Diary and decided to devote my time to bathing elderly people and people with different disabilities including mental limitations. I have made it my mission to identify the elderly, the frail and the chronically ill within my community and started this organization without any financial assistance or resources. I have taken it upon myself to provide home care visits and nursing care, where possible. I have personally experienced the hardships of taking care of an elderly woman on her death bed, to the extent of bathing her corpse.

Currently, I have four volunteers working for me and they are mainly responsible for dealing with the administrative aspect of Wretched Woman’s Diary which makes me solely responsible for nursing and caring for the victims of neglect. To date, the organization is caring for 10 elderly ladies, including 2 disabled children, on a daily basis.  They are vastly located in Gauteng but in some cases, my work has taken me to the Vaal, Pietermaritzburg and Mpumalanga.

As Wretched Woman’s Diary, we aim to alleviate the stigma against our senior citizens and the disabled, we aim to ensure perpetual care and assistance to the elderly, we aim to provide a safe and caring service to the elderly within their own homes and do away with social ills that are affecting our elders. The dire conditions which our elderly are faced with are disheartening; they are faced with feelings of rejection, loss and poverty and I am hoping to work in partnerships with other individuals and organizations that shares the same vision as I do because my dream is to extend my compassion and services to all provinces in South Africa, in the near future.

I am also studying towards becoming a qualified clinical psychologist with the dream of establishing care centres as far and as wide as I can go, to look after the elderly and individuals with different disabilities and limitations.

As much as I am still broken about my upbringing and have issues that I do not want to talk about, I finally found the purpose in my pain. All the years of hardship and suffering were what were needed to mould me into the person I am today. I can relate to the abandoned, to the neglected and to the rejected because I experienced abandonment, neglect and rejection. Today, I willingly go to sleep hungry, just to give someone else my plate of food, because I remember the little girl who was hungry, most days, and I would never want someone else to suffer the way I did.

If you are interested in learning more about Sindiswa or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via her Facebook page, Wretched Woman’s Diary, or email her at sindiswamabindisa11@gmail.com

by Yumnah Jones

Suraiya Essof

Suraiya Essof, founder of Kites for Peace

Suraiya Essof was named one of the 20 Most Outstanding Zimbabwean Women by The Guardian UK in 2020. She is a tenacious woman who, in spite of her health challenges, has become very influential in bringing together communities, businesses and social networks. Her knack for networking and the ability to create opportunities has seen her social innovative work being recognised and awarded, both locally and internationally. Social entrepreneur, mother, wife and businesswoman are of the many ways in which one can describe her but most importantly, she is proof that to create change, we need to turn inwards before we can power outwards.

This is Suraiya’s story…

I was born in a small mining town, Kwekwe, in the middle of Zimbabwe to a second-generation Zimbabwean father and a South African mother; the youngest of four girls. At the age of 10, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It rocked my family and, in the 90s, with very little access to information, it was indeed a very confusing time. Stories that I would be blind by 30 and an amputee a few years thereafter really got me into a mindset where I felt that time was limited. Likewise, my parents were amazingly proactive; they subscribed to foreign publications of Diabetes magazines and wrote letters and ordered books, just to educate themselves, my siblings and me. Their efforts brought light to my situation and with it the hope that I was not doomed to die a painful, undignified death that had been described by well-meaning yet fearmongering people.

Still, it was difficult. Diabetes is a tight rope of managing your blood sugar levels by finger prick testing several times a day, four insulin injections daily, monitoring what you eat and in what quantities, and making sure you stay active, but also not too active. Managing stress is also a huge part of diabetic care. As a preteen and then a teen at boarding school, I had to contend with stress and anxiety levels that came with trying to negotiate studies, relationships, teen angst, boarding school, autocratic matrons, bullies and a life-threatening condition. Three months before my O level exams, I slipped into a coma due to diabetic ketoacidosis. However, I did well in my exams, but not “well enough” to qualify for a white blazer (a status in Zimbabwean schools associated with being a straight A student) and to fill the big shoes that had been left for me.

I was perceived as an underachiever and with low expectations of myself, academically; I faded into myself, but started to spark socially. Once I reached university level, I shook off the negativity that came with being bullied, was more independent and the world became my oyster.

With internet access and Google, I could get any information I wanted. I started networking, at university and online, to get information I needed for my studies and to help myself and others in various areas. I became a go-to source of information for friends and residence mates. I joined advocacy groups for various causes, co-led fundraisers and through my activism; it expanded my awareness to the plight of others.

The suffering of others can be tremendously sobering, especially when one is self-pitying and is constantly being pitied by one’s own circle. From an oblivious young person, wallowing in my own misfortunes and self-imposed limitations, I awoke to the social injustices that others faced. It seemed futile to feel guilty of my own privilege and of the opportunities and care afforded to me, so I took the initiative and added my name, voice and feet to meaningful causes.

I graduated with distinction, from the University of Johannesburg, with a Bachelor of Commerce degree in Industrial Psychology. On my return to Zimbabwe, I got my first job at a school, where I volunteered to teach a few substitute classes and fell in love with the teaching profession. A few years later, I got married to my soulmate and moved to Harare. I then pursued distance learning and graduated with a Postgraduate Certificate in Education (PGCE) from the University of South Africa while working at a Jewish school for 7 years. As a Muslim who attended Christian schools, being a teacher at the Jewish institution offered yet another perspective to my inherent belief that we are more alike than we are different.

After the completion of my PGCE, my two sons were born, and this again shifted my perspective on the meaning of life and my purpose. As my children grew and my furniture retailing business settled into a rhythm, things came more into focus for me on my path. I decided to follow my dream of uniting communities, teaching peace and spreading the message of kindness, brotherhood and compassion.

In 2014, the year that I embarked on a new journey, I also experienced the sudden loss of my amazing, dynamic mother. There are few words to describe how the death of a loved one impacts your perspective on life. Again, I was more aware of my own mortality and suddenly overwhelmed with the huge responsibility of being a parent myself. Legacy became ever more important to me. What would I leave behind for my children? Had I lived a meaningful life? Have I served others? Did I share? Was I authentic? Would I be a good example? Were the lessons I had left behind be good enough? These questions shaped how I chose to continue my journey.

In the same year, I came across an independent project on Facebook inviting participants to break the world record for the number of kites flown simultaneously. I hosted the event and forty-eight kites were flown in Zimbabwe that year as a part of this initiative. Friends and family picnicked and flew kites. The message was well received; find your joy to find your peace. The world record was broken unofficially the following year, in 2015. That same year, in Zimbabwe, there were calls from the attendees of the previous event to fly kites again; not to break a world record but to celebrate our beautiful environment and to come together in peace on International Day of Peace, 21 September. They scaled the heights of the granite rocks of Ngomokurira and flew bright kites against a stunning backdrop of blue skies and spectacular rock mountains.

With news coverage of the previous year’s festival and increasing interest, 2016 brought a new energy to Kites for Peace. I invited 25 individuals from a WhatsApp group called the Do Gooders to participate in the event. The kite festival had 1000 attendees that year and the following year, in 2017, the number of attendees doubled to 2000! While the initial event was to simply and unofficially break the world record, the subsequent events became a tool of social change.

The Kites for Peace event became a movement that sought to strengthen the ideals that lead to peace. We are committed to the United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) which we believe are building blocks for peace. In this spirit, and under the Kites for Peace movement, we have engaged over 150 local community charitable organisations to create the Zimbabwe Cares Network. Starting with only 25 at our 2016 event, the Zimbabwe Cares Network is a philanthropic collective of an all-encompassing, community-based and goodwill initiative driven by a shared humanity, compassion, shared vision and a passion to help others. We believe that these organizations are integral to driving social change and use various platforms to network, collaborate and support each other. They meet annually at the Kites for Peace event and use the respective platform to fundraise and raise awareness of their causes. There are currently over 7000 members interacting on our platforms and the impact of this network is immeasurable. Membership for organisations is free and only requires proof of registration. It is coordinated by me and an enthusiastic group of volunteers and is the main project of the Kites for Peace movement.

With increasingly difficult conditions in the country and subsequent increased despair, the need for peace is ever more pressing, and thus the movement for peace has grown in impact, with more people engaging and valuing the need for mental strength, hope and resilience. The 2019 event was held in the jewelled lungs of the city at the Harare Botanical Gardens with a record number of participants and attendees, and in partnership with United Nations Development Programme Zimbabwe. Our 7th event was in 2020. It was an online event which saw more than 20 countries participating, with Kites for Peace festivals held in Tunisia, Nigeria, India, Reunion Island and Zimbabwe.

Through the Kites for Peace platforms, I continue to spread the message of peace and hope and to inspire compassion by highlighting the efforts of the organisations of the Zimbabwe Cares Network all year round. Kites for Peace is a registered organization in Zimbabwe and a registered International Day Of Peace event. It is part of Peace One Day Peace Coalition, a network of global organizations all working towards peace. It continues to grow as a movement for global peace, starting with the individual and inspiring communities to create healthy spaces for recreation and social change. Kites for Peace pledges respect for all life, rejects violence, promotes forgiveness for self and others, promotes goodwill, encourages to uplifts others and help them, to listen to understand and to preserve the planet.

I am driven by my commitment to helping others with support and upliftment through networking and education. I seek to solve the systemic challenges of finding peace in an ever-changing world where economics, politics, climate change issues and the media affects our state of mind.  By promoting inner peace and unity/ubuntu, and through community activism, I aim to change perceptions to drive social change and make us, our communities and the world more productive, purposeful and fulfilled.

I use recreation as a non-intimidating way to approach sensitive issues and to especially encourage children, who are our future policy makers, to become involved in issues that affect individuals, the communities that they live in and the world at large.

I hope that my story will encourage others to have faith in their path, trust their instincts and to truly follow their purpose, even if their purpose is ever changing and their situation is currently not ideal. I believe that no experience is ever wasted and that your path will lead you to your purpose, and ultimately to contentment, fulfilment and perhaps even happiness!

If you are interested in learning more about Suraiya or would like to get in contact with her, please reach out via the Kites for Peace website www.flykitesforpeace.com or email her at suraiya@flykitesforpeace.com 

by Yumnah Jones

Isata Kabia

Isata Kabia, founder of Voice of Women Africa and Afrilosophy

Honorable Isata Kabia is a former Member of Parliament of Sierra Leone and was elected to represent constituency 050, in the district of Port Loko for the period 2012-2017. She has served her country since a very young age and continues to develop, motivate and train young girls and women to take up space and make their voices heard. She is very passionate about women empowerment and has made it her life’s mission to see that every girl can dream and strives to assist in providing platforms to make them independent, strong and resourceful.

This is Isata’s story …

In 1980, at the age of eight, I was reunited with my parents who had immigrated to England when I was three years old. During this period of separation from them, I lived with my maternal grandmother in Lunsar, Sierra Leone, which is situated about 2 hours away from my birthplace, Freetown. My maternal grandmother was my World and when my little brother and I were summoned to join our parents in England, I was very sad at the prospect of leaving her in Lunsar.

When I arrived in England, along with my little brother, I was very miserable and did not adjust well to my new surroundings. Everything was so different from back home and I missed my grandmother dearly. As I grew older and became more settled in England, my longing for Sierra Leone grew deeper and I wanted to return home, to see my grandmother. My parents then paid my return ticket to see my grandmother and it was on this vacation that I had my first encounter with my calling. 

During my vacation in Sierra Leone, as a more matured version of myself, I saw the magnanimity of people who had less than me. They had so little compared to the life that I was living back in England, and yet they gave so much of themselves to others. The experience with these women, and people, my people, stirred within me a desire so strong to give back, that for many years since then, their stories became my stories and their stories energized me to make a difference in their lives.

Even though I was still attending school in England, I started supporting the education of girls of my former primary school back home, by sending school materials and even tried establishing a library in my home town of Lunsar. I spent the next several years, before the start of the Civil War, in 1991, choosing to vacation only in Sierra Leone to volunteer at schools or to distribute toys and books to small children or to donate shipped items to hospitals. Every return ticket I paid, since the first, was earned through working holiday jobs back in England; that was how determined I was to keep visiting Sierra Leone and making a difference.

During my years in England, I managed to earn my BSc in Biochemistry and then moved to the United States of America for working purposes. It was here in the USA, in 1998, that I established an organization called African Women of Substance. We protested in front of the White House and raised funds through our brand of beauty pageants by educating people about Sierra Leone and the plight of our children during the Civil War. Through these funds we were able to support two orphanages back home in Freetown.

My passion for my home country led me to become the first president of the Sierra Leone Network in 2003. Under my leadership and after the end of the Civil War, our group of Sierra Leoneans visited Sierra Leone and engaged in the USA to advocate for healthcare services, the provision of education, investments and other services for the people of Sierra Leone.  

My passion for Sierra Leone had only intensified since the seeds of service were sown at the age of sixteen years and while I always planned to return home. The death of my mother, in England in 2006, led to my official return to Sierra Leone. Her death hit me hard and it was a period where my grandmother and I needed each other the most. In this time of personal struggles and the impact it had on my grandmother, I finally made the decision to return home.

Having lived a minority existence based on color, it was fascinating to move back home and experience a minority identity based on gender. Being a woman in Sierra Leone is difficult, but having grown up with the discomfort of being ‘less than’, my default mode has been to challenge the patriarchy here at home just as I have stood up to racism in England and the USA. 

I have chosen to focus specifically on the leadership of women to ensure we are at the table when decisions are being made about us. My organization, Voice of Women Africa is designed to have branches all over Africa, but I have started small, at home, with the Voice of Women Sierra Leone (VoWS) branch. We aim to build a cadre of women who believe in themselves and in other women, to train and encourage 1000 women seeking elected office in our next local and national elections. Our Pathway to Politics programme is carved out to provide knowledge in running a campaign as well as general leadership skills. Our online videos and podcasts will also amplify unheard voices advocating for rights, in service of inspiring similar actions. Our mentoring scheme bridges the generational gap by creating exchanges between our mentees from secondary schools and universities with older women activists. Our podcasts, currently under development, aim to amplify African women’s voices in order to inspire women and girls everywhere.

My social enterprise Afrilosophy, which was established in 2015, provides training in manufacturing and financial management to women and their small businesses. Our training and manufacturing centre was built and became operational in 2017. To date, we have trained 50 youth and women in manufacturing skills, 120 in ceramics and clay works and 250 women in our Village Savings and Loans scheme (VSL) initiative. Through the Village Savings and Loans scheme (VSL) initiative, we support women owned businesses with access to finance, as well as providing an informal health insurance scheme, and an interest free loan for home emergencies. Ten percent of our Afrilosophy trainees have been employed by other companies and twenty five percent of them have their own businesses or are employed by us. We have struggled for five years without support but have been able to impact 500 lives. It is a small number compared to the national scourge we are trying to address but slow progress is better than no progress and we plan to forge ahead irrespective of the circumstances.

I have also designed a programme called WAAW (Working for the Advancement of African Women) which means ‘yes’ in the Senegalese Wolof language. It specifically targets the West African region, with the hopes of starting this year. It is where our expertise through Afrilosophy will be leveraged to support women’s groups in skills training, entrepreneurship, financial inclusion and support in advocacy and creating safe spaces for women.

I want to spend the next five years building a tribe of women to harness that collective power so we can stand together, as women. I am committing this period to building the future we want by investing in women and girls, now. Our organization’s work should create expertise and capacity leadership, so that we can have the critical mass to advocate for affirmative quotas simultaneously as we show courage and seek elected seats.

Storytelling for change is something I have purposefully embarked on through the Voice of Women Sierra Leone, based on the impact that other women’s stories have had on me. Learning about initiatives inspires me to take similar action and contribute to the scaling of those efforts. My story is very much attached to the efforts made by the women and girls I work with, and I want the world to know about them. Telling my story is in service of their empowerment. I cannot empower them but by accompanying them, I am able to amplify their voices, bring attention to their challenges and provide an opportunity for greater support to our small efforts.

I am who I am because of them.

If you are interested in learning more about Isata or would like to get in contact with her, please follow her on her LinkedIn page, http://linkedin.com/in/isata-kabia-41527b29 or email her at hon.kabia@gmail.com

by Yumnah Jones

Ramatu Karim Sesay

Ramatu Karim Sesay, founder of Ramatu’s Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone

At the age of 25 years, Ramatu has made great strides in spite of the obstacles thrown her way. She has a tremendous will and her story will inspire every little girl who has to fight a culture meant to break her. Her tenacity is outstanding and for her to still be standing today as a single woman, with no children and never having been married in addition to all she has accomplished pays true testament to her feisty spirit.   

This is Ramatu’s story…

My upbringing was tragic and forced me to mature quickly. I had to learn to start doing things for myself, for my siblings and for people in order to survive. At a very tender age, I was sent to live with one of my paternal family members in Port Loko, Sierra Leone to be looked after since my mother was asked to leave the paternal family compound, due to my parents’ divorce. Since she had no means to support her children, she made no objections, at that time. Under the care of my paternal aunt, I suffered tremendously and had to learn to fend for myself and my siblings. I slept on floors, was physically abused and starved, from time to time. I tried raising money for food, by braiding other peoples’ hair, but it was stolen by my aunt. Sometimes, she would also send me to the markets on a hungry stomach to sell items, after school, and when I took 1 000 or 2 000 leones to placate my hunger, she would beat me when I returned home from the markets. On weekends, I was sent to the bush to collect firewood for cooking and the abuse continued with me sometimes eating by neighbours. I endured the mistreatment over the years until she tried forcing me, at the age of 17 years, into an arranged marriage with a 62 year old carpenter. I refused to be forced into this marriage and as a result, was starved.

The final straw came in 2014, aged 19, when my aunt asked me to travel to Banthoron Village in the Port Loko District, where I was stripped naked and received cane lashings by some of the elder brothers of my father because of my refusal to this arrangement and because my aunt tarnished my name by the family who believed her wicked tales of me, including her accusations that I was not intelligent or focused on my studies. While their judgements and beatings pained me, they could not sway me to fall for their tricks because I was able to identify who I truly am and what I wanted to become.

Since I continued being defiant, and spoke up against her and exposed her during the family confrontation, my aunt refused me entry into her home but luckily for me, she was not paying for my education. I was receiving an education through a charitable organization called EducAid Sierra Leone, which caters for the less privileged in Port Loko. However, since she refused to take me back in, I could not return to my aunt’s home and was forced to stay in Banthoron Village, where I was able to read and prepare for my screening exams at another EducAid Sierra Leone branch.

During this period, I developed a deep concern for standing up against perpetrators and became passionate about gender equality and women empowerment. I wanted to improve the lives of all females living in marginalized communities and started engaging with the Banthoron village girls. I encouraged the girls to challenge cultural views that go against their rights to an education and a better life. During one of these educational sessions, I managed to borrow a phone to call one of my female school friends and a male staff member at the school I attended in Port Loko, to explain my family situation. The male staff member promised to get in touch with the Country Director of the EducAid Sierra Leone to assist me in getting out of Banthoron Village. He delivered on his promise and shortly thereafter the Country Director, my female friend and the male staff member (along with another) drove all the way from Port Loko Town to fetch me in Banthoron Village and I started a new life in Maronka Village. While I was sad to leave behind the village girls, I was ecstatic about the positive change in my story.

I was housed by EducAid in one of their buildings that served as a quarantine center during the Ebola Outbreak in 2014 and was appointed as the quarantine home mother, for a short period, to look after children, both girls and boys that were orphaned by the Ebola pandemic. I was later transferred to EducAid Rolal Senior Secondary School Port Loko to continue my schooling. Throughout this period and serving as a group leader to younger children, I managed to graduate high school although it pained me that none of my family members attended my graduation since they disowned me. After completion of high school, I continued serving EducAid and was asked to assist with their EducAid Mgbeni branch. Throughout, I was empowering, encouraging and teaching classes to children under my supervision and was asked to get involved in a Women’s Project teaching girls and women, phonics, mathematics and language arts. It was during this period, months later, that my father made contact with me, to apologize for not standing up for me because of his fear of his family and the repercussions of the elders who do not take kindly to defiance and he encouraged me to focus on my education and was proud of me for what I have accomplished thus far.

In 2016, I was transferred to a new EducAid school in Makeni to continue the Women’s Project and where I continued in my position as a home mother, gender equality representative and head of the safety committee. I also took it upon myself to engage girls in Makeni about female genital mutilation, which is a highly regarded cultural practice. I was of course met with a lot of backlash but the issues were resolved through EducAid Sierra Leone, as part of their organizational work.

I was very happy during my period at EducAid Sierra Leone as I was gaining experience and earning a stipend per month, to survive, since I had no one to support me but towards the end of my tenure, I was a victim of sexual harassment by one of the senior male teachers who wanted to have sex with me in exchange for bread, eggs and other foods but since I refused his advances, he avenged my rejections through falsified reports on my so called misdemeanours and since, there were no open platform to discuss cases of sexual harassment, noting that he was in a position of trust, I was made redundant and my tenure at EducAid Sierra Leone came to an end. It was distressful for me since I was saving most of my monthly stipends to enrol in university and now felt like I was back to square one.

In spite of this, I told myself not to give up and enquired the cost of pursuing a Bachelor of Education degree at the Ernest Bai Koroma University and to my delight my savings covered the first year tuition. To make ends meet, I sold many different snacks on campus and surrounding primary schools because I believed in the power of an education and with the help of good Samaritans, along the way, who assisted me with my struggles, I am now a 4th and final year student, who intend graduating in 2021 with B.Ed., majoring in Community Development with a minor in Agriculture.

As a young and single woman, I have faced a lot of sexual harassment and had to deal with men trying to prey on me, considering my vulnerable situation, but I have honestly been strong and dealt with every obstacle thrown my way in the most dignified way possible and I am extremely grateful for the help of truly good Samaritans who believe in me, my potential and my vision for my future and whose only heartfelt aim is to see me succeed.

My passion, dreams and aspiration for education, women’s rights, development, women empowerment and improving the livelihood of women and girls living in marginalized communities became stronger in my thoughts and heart after being faced with all the hardships. I realized all of those painful experiences have given me more strength of mind, boldness, lessons and the empowerment needed to be vibrant and fearless in the advocacy of young girls and women.

After my fruitful tenure at EducAid Sierra Leone where I gained valuable experience as a volunteer, I transformed my skills and knowledge into rallying a small group of girls in Makeni and started creating awareness on the rights of girls and women and on harmful cultural practices. My efforts have expanded through training and motivating them and as a result, my organization, Ramatu’s Foundation for Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone was established on 26 October 2019. The Ramatu’s Foundation for Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone is a fully functional foundation registered with the Ministry of Social Welfare, Gender and Children’s Affairs in Makeni with an office space containing 7 rooms, newly recruited staff members and board of directors and office equipment which we will expand as more funds become available.

I am deeply aspired in ensuring all females are educated on their rights and responsibilities and in ensuring that all issues affecting women and girls in Sierra Leone are eradicated with my own leadership and to include men in joining me to win the fight against arranged marriages/child marriages, rape, female genital mutilation and gender-based violence. I want to serve as a global feminist and to continue to tell my story and to help in the development of women and girls living in marginalized communities. All I want to see is a Sierra Leone or a world wherein women and girls are not treated based on selfish cultures, are not deprived of their rights and responsibilities, are given the platform for progress and equality and are given leadership positions and inclusiveness.

If you are interested in learning more about Ramatu or would like to get in contact with her, please follow her on her Facebook page, Ramatu’s Foundation for Girls and Women’s Empowerment Sierra Leone or email her at sramatukarim@gmail.com 

by Yumnah Jones

Nisha Singh

Nisha Singh, founder of Niche Wellness

A former preschool owner, currently working in the corporate sector and the founder of Niche Wellness, Nisha Singh is a mentor to many individuals going through personal challenges. Through her personal experience and having obtained her education, she is using her platform to teach human rights and provide mindset empowerment coaching to others, with a long-term vision of becoming a principal of her own school.

This is Nisha’s story …

My journey of stepping into my power started in January 1986 when I married my husband, at the tender age of 18 years. I came into a family with so much dreams of being loved as a wife, a daughter in law and an addition to the new family I found myself in.  Going in to the new family, I took much of Bollywood fantasies in my head but marriage made me realize the harsh reality of married life and being married to a man that would not shield me from the harshness of petty fights within his parents’ home; the home we lived in since he was not earning enough money for us to even rent our own home.

I endured years of pain while we lived with his parents. His mother gave me the same harsh treatment she received from her parent in laws. My husband did not defend me when his mum or family found fault with me for petty issues and began hitting me within three months of our marriage. I could not tell anyone as I would be seen as not being a woman of good standing; why else would a husband hit his wife? Something had to be wrong with me and I was always made to feel less than. I too, had dreams to work and educate myself, and to get my own house which I wanted to make into a home for our future children.

Twenty seven years of abuse when I did not submit to all the lies and taunts and spoke up. I was beaten physically to an extent that I had bruises on my face and my body, but in all of this, I became more resilient to find my own space and path.

Three years into the marriage, after my first child was born, I left my husband and went back to my mother’s house in Durban, South Africa, with an opportunity to make my dream a reality but he felt the distance of his wife and child being away from him. He requested that I return to him in Johannesburg, South Africa and that he would get us our own house. We bought a dilapidated house, worked to renovate it ourselves and made it livable, but the abuse continued …

Whenever he went to his mum’s house, he came back angry and would hit me as he was told some story of me having a boyfriend etc., even while knowing that I was barred from his mum’s house.

Thirteen years later, after staying in our first house, we moved to another suburb, away from his parents, but the abuse continued. By this time though, I was working and strived with night and weekend study classes to educate myself and better my earning power.

One day, in my current home, my eldest son had to grab his father off of me and threw him a few metres away, in the passage, and warned his father that if he ever hit me again, he would hurt his father.

For all the years that I was being abused, I made cases at the police station but never let justice run its course as the family would plead me to drop the charges since he would get a criminal record. So each time I forgave him and withdrew the case.

After nearly twenty seven years of marriage, and all the abuse, I finally found the courage to apply for a divorce. When I applied for a divorce, he tried manipulating me and making me feel less than him because I did not earn as much money as him. It took me nine months to finalize my divorce. I even had to fire my lawyer and took my own divorce case to court in 2012 and it was successful.   

While the court settlement included joint custody, my sons opted to stay with their father and I felt very worthless as a woman but preserved to love my children even more, to let them see me for who I am. I admit that I ill-treated my eldest son to some extent as he was behaving in the same abusive manner as his father but I went for counselling and realized that I needed to help him undo the programming he received from watching his father abuse me.

After the divorce, I continued studying and obtained my Level 6 Early Childhood Development teaching diploma, my paralegal qualification and my life coaching neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner certification, all with my own finances. I am an independent warrior woman, going on vacations and buying my own assets, whenever the need arises and I now use my real life wisdom to mentor and guide persons stepping into their own power, which took me so long to find. While my marriage ended, not all marriages have to end in divorce or separation; the persons in the marriage need to be guided to work together, focus on fulfilling each other’s needs and respect each other.

Through my experience and years of mentoring, I find that a lot of people are overwhelmed by the circumstances they find themselves in and I want people to know that lessons are presented in all of our challenges and that we must strive to be the change we want in this World. I have also learnt that hurt people hurt others but healed people heal others. My mission and prayer is to help people to step into their own power and to create a life they want as I did for myself, in spite of my circumstances.  

If you are interested in learning more about Nisha or require her life coaching services, please follow her on her Facebook pages, Niche Wellness and Finding Your Niche or email her at  Nichewellness9@gmail.com